My summing up what I've been meaning to write

So much is happening in my life and I don't know how to sum it up. I keep on meaning to right a blog but I'm either to frustrated or to lazy

So here's a list to keep me on track.

Dad.
Truck.
Youth Group.

Dad. My father is now going on SSC disability. Which means we don’t' have insurance, a nd he legally does not have to pay child support. It's so frustrating, last week he called me to come out and talk to him, so I did. When I got out there we had some small talk, and then he said "I've been a bad dad and I'm sorry, I just hope you can understand..." this is where I thought 'Oh maybe something will change!' NOPE! then he says, "I'm just sick, your father has a mental illness. It's not his fault. I'm just really sick."

WRONG ANSWER! Oh, it made me so mad. for once I thought that my dad was going to change that I was going to be able to have a relationship with him. Nope, he's just sick. But he's only sick because he's over dousing on his med's and downing it with a beer.

For some reason his new 'sickness' covers up for the last 17 years of my life that he hasn't been there.

I start feeling bad because I start thinking that it's my fault. 'I never was there for him, I was never a real daughter.' But I think again he's my dad, isn't he supposed to be helping me not the other way around?

My Truck. I GOT IT! And it works, for now, and I have my stereo! I'm really nervous that it's going to die, because everything that I get either dies, or something happens to it. But it's a really ugly crappy truck, but I love it!!!! I feel very cool....until I step outside and realize everyone else thinks I stole my truck from a hobo. But I still love it.